

���� Like I said in my earlier Journal my kids are my life.� Yeah I admit they do push me at times to my limit but kids will be kids.� They are my life and I sincerely donapos;t know what I would do without them.
����� You know many times I had asked myself� "What am I doing here?"� "Life canapos;t be one suffering after another".� I even got to the point where I believes giving up on life was the easiest, Suicide that was the answer or at least in that moment I thought it was, Man was I wrong.� I tried it 5 times but never� did anything, I just thought of my kids and STOPPED before I could do any damage.� I have one question I ask myself when I feel I canapos;t no more� "Where do I leave my kids and there future if I go through with it?"� you know the answer� I leave them no where, without stability, without respect for life, without respect for themselves, without a path to choose.� If I were to go through with something so stupid I would screw up my kids for life.� Yeah we have been through a lot, and you guys have only heard some, but that doesnapos;t give me the right to screw my kids up.� I thought that true happiness didnapos;t exist but I was wrong my kids are my true happiness and I am so happy to have them.� Thanks to my kids I know what the meaning is to true Happiness.� If I look the word up in the dictionary I most definately will see my kids faces.� They are my life and I am so glad I can see them grow and learn from life.� Life has itapos;s ups and downs, many times there are more downs than ups but the moment will come where your ups will be well worth your downs.� Life is short so live it to the fullest, donapos;t live your life in the past cause you canapos;t change what "WAS" but you can change what "WILL" be.
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